Must I remember?
Every year, he's earned two days.
lose, loose, lost, lapsed
Only I recall with my honesty.
Nine days until his birthday, and I have no idea how old.
Convinced I, we had a hand.
How long did it take me to realize?
Opening the door to a parking ramp stairwell,
looking down, between staircases, the
yell doesn't come out.
Always rushed, even though
I know, I'm not.
people equally angst-ridden,
only wanting to be home.
Roaming, because home roams.
something convincing of adjustment.
Solid, I am.
Tell me what to build and I will
reliably run myself ragged,
to resurrect your lab, keep it going.
Maybe they aren't
opposed, but my mouth tastes
very bitter today.
Eating words inappropriate and true.
Maybe I could dance this week,
ever so slowly across the floor.
Never as satisfying as both intwined.
Too many dimensions to find balance.
The question lingers,
how I bat it away,
every hour, sometimes.
Roads that I'm not on;
would they feel different?
I'm not despondent, nor is my
self misplaced, but what
else could be?
When? I tell myself patience.
Hearing it, pausing.
Everything doesn't happen at once, nothing
Saving yourself for another place only
Speak well, all the time.
Criticize kindly because you know resentment from the opposite.
If you fail, apologize.
Pit yourself against
the fates again and push.
Should others be watching?
Adding to details, but
Does this mean I've adapted?
Turning into the professor who
runs everyone but himself away.
Absent minded, poorly read,
invited speaker, spinning stories,
Insisting you've "bloomed" because
now you've done everything to his standard.
Gone are dreams of fields and bugs.